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State Fair, Baby!

It's hot and sticky in my room and that is making me mildly cranky, but not really.  Exciting things are happening!  The state fair!  Days off!  PEOPLE HAVING BABIES.  It's hard to be cranky with all that going on.  So I'm not cranky, really.  Just sticky.

Ahem.  I ended up cancelling the date I'd planned tonight.  Given that I'm anxiously checking my phone for baby-related texts every thirty seconds and yapping nonstop about babies, I figured I wouldn't be great company, and I also want to try to finish more of the baby sack (no really) I am making for a certain baby.  It was a good call.  I rescheduled the date for tomorrow, and I have tomorrow off so I can get ready in a leisurely fashion instead of scrambling to change my clothes and make myself look presentable at work before dashing off to make a brilliant first impression.  Also I am getting closer to being done with the sack.

OH MY GOD IT IS SO HOT IN HERE.  I know you don't want to hear about how sweaty I am but I am very sweaty.  It's not good.

I'm going to go back to watching BSG* but in the meantime please have this poll.  No really, I want you to have it.

Poll #1774781 Mmmmm, state fair.

Which of the following would you eat?

Sweet corn ice cream
Chocolate-covered jalapeño peppers
Deep-fried cookie dough
Breakfast sausage on a stick encased in deep-fried corn muffin batter
Something called a Grilled Yankee Apple Pie and Chocolate Sandwich
According to a local food critic, the chocolate-covered jalapeño peppers are not good.  Apparently they are just raw peppers coated in chocolate which doesn't sound very good to me either.  I like raw hot peppers in dishes with lots of other things, but I'm not wild about the idea of just eating them, dipped in chocolate or no.  I will definitely be trying the sweet corn ice cream, as I've heard from numerous people now that it is delicious.  And I'll be honest with you:  I am going to try the deep-fried cookie dough.  I shouldn't, but I will.

* So I'm still on season 2.5 so please don't spoil me but OH MY GOD WHEN ARE STARBUCK AND APOLLO GOING TO GET IT ON.  Seriously.  I know it's going to happen at some point.  WHY NOT NOW.


Hey, I finished. Again!

Woooooooo! New personal best 5k time today. I want to stress the word "personal" there, because I was definitely one of the last people to finish. But whatever! My running mantra/slogan has become "Hey, I finished."

And I feel really good about the pace I set and stuck to. Yeah, it was slow, but I maintained it throughout the race. Also, I only have two blisters, which is amazing because I broke one of the cardinal rules of running and ran in new shoes. I KNOW. It could have ended badly. I really had no other choice though -- I destroyed my old shoes doing the Warrior Dash, and I, er, well, I kind of forgot that I needed new ones until yesterday. But it worked out just fine, and the blisters are not bad at all. They're on the balls* of my feet and aren't painful at all really. The only time I really mind blisters is when they're on the backs of my ankles, because those hurt and are usually all raw and icky-looking.

There was this guy who looked like he was in his early twenties whom I noticed at the start of the race because he was super-tall and wearing a bright green shirt. He must have started off at a pretty good clip because I lost sight of him at the beginning. I saw him again between mile one and two and he had slowed to a walk. When I passed him, he started running again and passed me, only to slow to a walk again after maybe a tenth of a mile. I passed him again, and the same thing happened. We did this seriously four or five times but I think he gave up around mile three because I passed him then and didn't see him again until the finish, where he was still a little behind me.

I don't pretend to be able to read people's thoughts, but I think there's a high likelihood that he was motivated by an unwillingness to let a fat girl beat him. Too bad for him!

*I said balls.


Dating Tips

Not that I think anyone reading this needs this particular tip, but.

When messaging a person for the first time on a dating site, it's probably not a good idea to begin the message with "Gimme my hat back bitch!"

Even if the person in question is wearing an awesome fuzzy warrior helmet in her profile picture.

Because a) that is not your hat. And b) misogyny isn't funny. It just makes you sound like a jerk.

This is MY hat, asshole.


Summer Fun

Ways in which I am itchy, right now:

- from mosquito bites. I have two on my left hand that are almost unbearably itchy.
- from the healing of my poor sunburned back and shoulders. Not as itchy as the mosquito bites. But peel-y, which is annoying because most of the peeling (and most of the itchiness) is located squarely in that spot between my shoulderblades that I cannot reach no matter how I twist my arms and upper body around.
- from gnat bites. Or something that looks like gnat bites. I hope they're gnat bites and not something awful like fleas from my parents' dogs.
- from whatever horrible allergen it is that makes the inside of my mouth and nose itch.

I swear, sometimes when I have one source of itchiness, my body is all "Oh hey, I know! Let's be itchy ALL OVER!"

This is why I love Benadryl.


I love summer.

Love it love it love it.

I had the day off work today and so I went for a mid-morning run. Unfortunately something, somewhere, is in full-blown pollen production mode and when I got in from said run my nose was all stuffy and my eyes would NOT stop watering. So I took some Benadryl and fell asleep for a few hours. I may or may not have drooled on myself.

Still love summer. Hopkins is having their raspberry... thing. Raspberry Festival. I had to Google it. It's this coming week/weekend, and it sounds like fun times, though I am kind of totally grossed out by the criteria for their female royalty candidates. Why the fuck should having been pregnant (or married, or divorced) prevent someone from being a Raspberry Festival princess? I've a good mind to write them and ask. ETA: I did! I'm curious to see what kind of response I get.

They also have a five-mile Raspberry Run. I'm thinking about signing up for it. Pros: It would involve running, which I have come to enjoy. Cons: It looks like the field is a very small one, and the odds that I would finish last are extremely good. I know that in the grand scheme of things what really matters is that one finishes, but it's still kind of embarrassing to finish very slowly.

So what do you all think?

How fucked up is the "no pregnant/divorce/married princesses" thing?

Not at all.

Should I do the Raspberry Run?


Do you like raspberries?



Oh look, a new tag!

I felt like total crap this morning, and I could not figure out why. I worried that maybe it was anxiety creeping up on me again, or that I was getting sick.

Then I went for a bike ride with Rachel and went out to my parents' house for dinner and gardened a bit with my mom and lo, all was well. And I realized that I'd been feeling like crap because I have been lazy as hell for the last week. To be fair, I have been semi-busy with shower-planning stuff, but that was not so all-consuming that I couldn't have fit in some exercise.

I've known for several years now that if I fail to get enough exercise, it makes me feel like crap. You would think that would motivate me to make a point of getting enough exercise, but you would be wrong.

Speaking of that, I am going to need to start getting a little extra exercise, because I just signed up to run the TC 10 Mile. I won* one of the guaranteed spots after doing the TC 1 Mile last month and I'd been hemming and hawing about signing up but in my post-bike-ride haze I was just like, "Fuck yeah, running! HERE IS MY CREDIT CARD INFORMATION." I'm glad I did, though. I think having that as a goal will keep me motivated this summer.

* Via a random drawing, by pure chance, and not as a result of my performance in that one-mile race (which was pretty abysmal).


Run for Your Rights!

Thanks again to everyone who sponsored me in the 5k I'm running tomorrow. Thanks to you, I've raised almost five hundred dollars! You are awesome, and I love you.

Now if you could do me one more tiny favor and think warm thoughts, that would be super. Right now it's kind of, um, well, snowing. Yeah. It's snowing. I threw up in my mouth a little just thinking that word.

But with any luck it will all have melted by tomorrow at nine. Local people, if you feel like seeing me in my sex-ay running gear (it is not an attractive sight, FYI), or want to cheer me on or throw things at me or what have you, or join the pro-choice rally that's happening just before the race, you can come by Como Park (specifically this part of it) around eight thirty (there is a rally at eight forty-five and the actual race starts at nine) to join the fun.

ETA: If you are local and want to come, you should call/text me and I will come find you in the crowd, so as to present an easier target.


"It's a boy! With a HUGE penis!"

That is what Maria texted me after the ultrasound when she and Jason learned the baby's sex.

Her mother and aunts are not coming to this shower, so there won't be any guests who might be offended or troubled by it, and I really, REALLY want to have those memorable words put on a cake. A really fancy cake, like this.

I thought about trying to do it myself, but I am pretty crap at making cake decorations and my lettering looks like that of a drunken five-year-old, so I'm trying to think of a good local bakery whose staff won't look at me with utter disgust and show me the door if I try to order a cake like that.

Any suggestions?

It Is Technically Spring

I say "technically" because I know better than to piss off winter by challenging it like that. I KNOW YOU CAN COME BACK, WINTER. You asshole.

But it is officially, technically, spring, and it is GLORIOUS. Even if it snows again (and I hope, oh how I hope) that it doesn't, it will be a last gasp of winter. We made it through another one! It was touch and go at several points, like when the entire metro area was buried in snow FOR THE SECOND THIRD FOURTH UMPTEENTH TIME.

Anyway, we made it.  I have to try not to be bitter about all the snow; after all, it is almost all gone now.  One good hard rain and it will wash away... and then half the state will flood.  That will suck.

ANYWAY.  That is not why I am updating my LiveJournal; I have other, utterly frivolous (compared to widespread flooding), reasons.

I celebrated spring yesterday by running my first ever "real" race/run-type thing, Team Ortho's Get Lucky 7K.

Seriously, I did! Look:

It is a finisher's medal, and I did indeed finish.  That doesn't mean I finished impressively -- I was in the bottom 100 in my age/gender category.  But whatever.  I FINISHED.  I can't tell you what a good feeling that is.  I was always the fat kid in gym class who couldn't run a mile to save her life.  I feel like I have proved something to myself, and I wish I'd done something like this years ago.

I liked it so much that I almost immediately signed up to run another race.  This one is a 5k, and it's to benefit NARAL Pro-Choice Minnesota.  Should you be so inclined, I do have a donation page set up for it.  I'm also thinking about having some sort of fundraiser.  Would you pay five dollars for a cupcake if you knew the proceeds were going to a good cause?  What if it were an especially delicious cupcake?



When I was a kid, my parents took me to a dental office owned by an old friend of my grandfather. He was a kind, avuncular old man, who came in at the end of every appointment, peered gravely into my mouth, and then smiled and told me I was doing a good job.

The actual cleaning of my teeth was done by the dental hygienist who worked there, a lovely woman named Annalee. She was very gentle, and sympathized with my total aversion to the taste of the fluoride paste that protocol required her to apply to my teeth via trays that held the vile stuff against my teeth for five agonizing minutes.

On the wall in the exam room, there was a poster. It showed a legion of anthropomorphized teeth, all smiling happily. Above the teeth were the words "You don't have to floss ALL of your teeth..." and below them, more ominously, "...just the ones you want to keep."

As a kid, I HATED flossing. Hated it so much that I in fact refused to do it at all. When I was provided with dental floss by my parents and told to use it, I would wait until they left me alone, wind off a reasonable length of it, chew on it a bit to make it look used and then throw it in the garbage.

I remember looking at that poster as I sat there waiting for Annalee to come back and take the horrible, horrible fluoride trays off my teeth, and thinking, Well, do I really need ALL of my teeth? The front ones, sure, but what are the ones in the back doing for me?

Later, after going most of my childhood without flossing and having only one tiny cavity (in a baby tooth, no less, which fell out), I concluded that I didn't really need to floss any of my teeth if I didn't want to, an attitude I maintained into my late teens and early twenties.

Fortunately for me, I have strong tooth enamel, and flossing only sporadically until I was twenty-four didn't have any catastrophic consequences. I did end up with two cavities, but they are small and my teeth (despite being not at all straight) are in good shape.

The funny thing is that I have come to actually enjoy flossing.

How do you feel about flossing?

I also enjoy it.
I hate it.

How often do you floss?

Twice a day.
Once a day.
A few times a week.
Very occasionally.