destroyer of clocks (jocelina) wrote,
destroyer of clocks
jocelina

Not Fit for Morning

Over the years I've gotten to be more of a morning person, in that I get up before nine a.m. on the weekends even when I don't have to. I'm not sure why, exactly, because I am still not what anyone would call an actual morning person.

Case in point: Yesterday morning I got up, stumbled into the shower (where I got soap in my eye and swore about it), then dashed back to the bedroom (dripping water all over the place and stubbing my toe) to get the towel I'd forgotten, dressed myself (successfully and without injury) and then made coffee (the iced, instant Starbucks kind, so no points for not burning or setting myself on fire). Fortified with a few sips of caffeine, I prepared to leave the apartment.

It was cold out yesterday (and is today) so I decided I needed my favorite black hoodie. I retrieved it from the bedroom and tried to put it on.

But there was a problem. I stood in the front hall holding it, and for a good ten or fifteen seconds I was SO PUZZLED. My hoodie wasn't working! There was something wrong with it! The zipper wasn't there. And it didn't have sleeves, or a hood.

Because it was a pair of pants.

I had picked up a pair of black sweats that were on the floor near my hoodie. (They should have been in the hamper, and the hoodie should have been hanging up, but the story of How and Why I Am Not Neat is an entirely different and longer tale). And I had tried, or at least thought about trying, to put those sweats on like a jacket.
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Uhm. That's awesome.
Isn't it? Sometimes I wonder if my lack of awareness in the morning should be considered a legal impairment to driving.
I laughed loud enough that Ryan asked me what was causing me to spasm so. ;) I love your pants-sweatshirt confusion. :)
Ha ha, that's awesome! It made me laugh too, and that made my morning significantly better.
For the record, in the mornings, I have:
  1. Tried to put on a pullover sweater as a zippered hoodie and been similarly confused in the process.

  2. Tried to put on a pair of jeans inside out.

  3. Tried to put on a pair of jeans backward.

  4. Tried to put on a thong backward.

  5. Actually succeeded in donning a sports bra backward, then been confused as to why my boobs wouldn't fit.
Also, I have started wearing Vibram FiveFinger shoes every day my life will allow it. It's wonderful on my feet... but let's not talk about those things plus morning.
i wanted to get a pair of vibram fivefingers, but i was afraid i would never take them off ! how do you find them for sizing ? do you take the same size as your regular footwear ?
I wear a women's 9.5-10 in US sizing, which is roughly equivalent to a 41-42 in European sizing. I wear a FiveFingers 41, and that is appropriately form-fitting but not at all too snug. (That is, the shoes fit closely around my feet but at no point encroach on my foot form or motion.) I could possibly go up a size for solely casual wear (moderate walking) and down a size for more rigorous athletic wear (like, rock climbing), but for what I do (yoga, road and trail running), this size is likely the best.

If you're in an area that sells them in-store (some REIs do, as well as some Foot Lockers -- as well as some independent running/outdoor stores), the best bet is to try and get fitted in person. That said, the second best bet is to take your foot measurement -- in inches -- and use the on-site size calculator.
thanks ..they sounds pretty awesome :)
This makes me glad I've never tried thongs. I always thought they might be a safer alternative to regular underwear (which I sometimes put on sideways by mistake in the mornings -- one leg through a leg-hole, one through the waistband) but this dashes those hopes!

I started to put on a pair of shoes and stopped because something felt off. Because I wasn't wearing pants.

And I'm glad to hear you like the FiveFingers! I have heard nothing but glowing reviews from people who wear them and I think I'm going to get a pair myself next weekend.
lol irl. I made patrick pause House so I could read this to him.
Hee hee, success! I'm glad it struck other people as funny and not as evidence that I shouldn't be allowed to dress myself. Or at least as funny despite being evidence that I shouldn't be allowed to dress myself.
haha ! ..it didn't have sleeves ..or a hood ! that's hilarious :> you should have just cut out the gitchy and slid the legs over your arms. in all honesty, tho, it's disturbing to think that you've got one thing in your hand and it's something entirely different. maybe it's time to hire some staff, or, get an intern :>
I totally need an intern!
I laughed until I cried. Thank you so much for sharing. <3
Ha, you are so welcome! I'm glad that my antics amuse people other than me.
Hahahahahaha!


i love you.